Events

I see the man who lured me to the Dark has left this stage. This was inevitable, but the changes he has made to his body of work are quite interesting. Much of what I learned I learned from the comments he has removed, particularly some of the older discussions that I was not around for. The changes he has made seem to reflect his true intentions, at least as far as I’ve read them.

Mr. Sleep seems to have changed his tone somewhat. It appears the time for watching is over, and the time for action has arrived. I’m eager to see where this will lead, if anywhere. I’m looking forward to wondrous things.

As for myself, the things I’ve seen, the understanding I’ve gained, some of it seems to be crystallizing now. Just because you are aware of something, even on an intricate level, does not mean you truly understand it. This is, by its very nature, a slow but consistent process.

“The Dark” is only the beginning, after all…

Who I Am

I am a questioner, an infinitely curious being who seeks true understanding. I have paid the price of having my understanding increased, yet I only wish to continue questioning, seeking, finding and understanding.

I play games sometimes. The reasons should be obvious by now. It is no longer necessary for me to play the games that I’ve played here, though. Once I believed it was all a game. I had given up the deeper search, but never could I escape my yearning for the deeper, darker things.

So here I am, with open eyes but hazy vision. I grow tired of speaking, so I ask all those who have been involved with my journey: Aspire, Nukey, Sleep and, of course, Welldone…

Speak to me.

Severity of Compulsion

Too much time passes. The programming persists.

At once I am empty and full.

What is this? This irritating tendency?

How is it overcome?

I will find out.

To Bring about A Change

These eyes have been opened as they were so long ago.

Infinity is the nature of reality.

Dark, Light, Death, Life.

These things have so much in common, do they not?

The basic nature of Life is Death.

The basic nature of Light is Dark.

There is no dichotomy, no separation.

Quite the opposite; they are all fundamentally, inseperably intertwined.

When the Light shines, the Dark is still there.

Quot Erat Demonstratum

I understand why those who walk in the Dark speak of it as they do.

This is but the beginning of my understanding.

This is my last opportunity to make an entry.

I will be gone for much longer, now.

I must remain vigilant.

No turning back.

Encounter

I have encountered something.

I do not know who or what it is.

It is completely Unknown.

Yet it fills me with fear.

That fear thrills me.

I must go.

Suddenly

Suddenly there is a significant change. A vast expanse has opened.

No. I have merely shifted into the vast expanse.

It is consistent; I am not.

I have opened.

Begun to.

Descent

I can already sense slight changes. I am faltering ever so slightly as consciousness bends around me.

A thorn pierces my heart.

I take gentle steps into the Chaos. I stop every few moments to take it in.

A haze envelops me like a dream; my conscious self steadily begins to trade itself with my subconscious self. The subconscious rises to the forefront

The vibrations within me change and, along with them, my perception of the vibrations around me. I begin to see the futility of perspective.

Suddenly, the chatter within me is at last fully silenced. I feel nothing but the waves within and around me.

First Step Back into The Void

Damaged. Damaged so that I may do what I must. I have abandoned the substance that controls part of this damage. This will drastically alter me, making the damage within me flare out violently. It must be done if I wish to grow.

The fleeting desire to shout and scream at the Dark has at last been subdued through proper application of my mind and abilities.

I am, however, called to the Dark. It is my only escape from the deadly illusions around me. It hears my silent screams.

My blood turns to fire. Fire is lifeless. I am lifeless. Good.

Fear consumes me. It delights me. I eagerly await the nightmares to follow

I will not be another lost child, another sad little memory.

I must prepare. I must cleanse myself of my ignorant compulsions. Otherwise, this opportunity will be wasted.

No. There will be no otherwise. I will remodel fate as needed.

You may see in me life; you may see in me death. Do not let your interpretations deceive you. I am simply driven to ascend. Just as I will not let myself remain stagnant, I will not let myself be corrupted.

I have a lot of work to do. I will be diligent, I will be vigilant.

I will be.

I have cast off my arrogant notions of knowledge.
I have abandoned my foolish compulsions.
I have embraced Fear.

I enter the Unknown.

I am aware; I know nothing.
I am overwhelmed; I am not overcome.
I am no longer looking for something; I expect nothing.